Here are
some highlights from what was truly an epic weekend.
1.
Early birthday
dinner with my family. It’s funny
the things you miss when you’re no longer living in the same city as your
kinfolk. God knows they are annoying sometimes but what can I say,
absence does make the heart grow fonder, and
nothing rejuvenates my soul more than one dinner with this elite group of
Asians. My nephew Tristan is now old enough to walk, talk, and not only
can tell the difference between Thomas the Train characters— he has preferences!
I’m amazed by him and reminded of how quickly children grow up! Last time I saw
him he just drooled and pointed at things he wanted us to give him. Now
he’s evolved into this sophisticated little creature who actually knows how to
shun me when someone he likes better comes along.
Another
hilarious thing that happened was right before dinner when my mother handed me
a plastic Ziploc bag with 100 $20 dollar bills like the Asian NE pimp
daddy that she is. I found this pretty comical, especially since she told me
that she’s been pilfering $20s from my dad for the last two years, hiding the
money in her sock drawer so she could pay for my wedding dress. Tear. She
hated my outfit, criticized my tan, disliked the way I did my hair, but when
she slyly handed me a baggie full of cash, I could not help but smile, and my
heart can’t help but warm because of this kick ass and industrious woman
who is my mother.
2. Road Trip. I love road trips and especially
road trips with beautiful scenery, good company, and racing against another car
that didn’t know we were racing them.
3. Lapdances. Nothing like being in a small confined
space with a naked stranger waving her privates in your face to make you feel a
teensy bit awkward. Nonetheless, my (professional) lapdance cherry has been
popped and while I’m slightly traumatized, I’m glad it/she went down. Kayla,
for the record, your lapdances were not only free, but better!
4. Cock cake:
see photo below. Enough said.
5. Polish rap video: Monika,
I held it together all weekend until I saw your video. I don’t know if it was
the shaky group videograph of us in the Rockies or if it was something about
you and your daughter wearing your bras over your shirt and sporting that
nouveaux Gypsy gangsta wear that really struck a chord in my heart, but I was
touched. That video made me feel like you were there, so dziękuję przyjacielu.
Done.
6. Wine Tour. I think my favourite part of the
wine tour was when I turned around and ALL of you were either ralphing in
the bathroom or waiting in line to ralph in the bathroom. And… I guess my
second favourite part was all the great wine we tasted and the beautiful
Okanagan.
7. My girlfriends and my sister. The most surreal part of my entire
weekend was when I looked around the room and it suddenly hit me that you guys
were all there just for me.
How did I ever manage to find so many unique, dynamic, strong, sexy girls and
manage to befriend you all?! It’s kind of a beautiful miracle if you ask me.
I am so incredibly grateful for the
effort, thought and love that you all put into making my stagette so
unbelievably wonderful. From where we went, to my outfit, to the meals, to the
margarita mixer to the stagette games… it’s been a long time since I’ve felt so
extraordinarily loved and special.
Thank you to all of you for your
generosity and for giving me a weekend that I will always remember. And
of course, a special shout out to my homegirl Carolyn, who made it all
possible. It is evidently clear to me that life has been extremely
kind to me because I’ve been blessed with your friendship. I’m
so lucky to call you my friends. Thank you and I love you all.
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