Even though I've watched my fair share of “Say Yes to the
Dress”, and admittedly shed a tear or two over the years, I always knew that I
would not enjoy dress shopping. I don’t know
why, call it a hunch (or all the wine that I drink), but I just knew that it
would a long, painful process and that I would eventually have to “settle”. So, after two years of blissful
procrastination, I finally ventured out and visited some of Montreal’s finest
this February.
On a day-to-day basis I love being right, but the validation
of my inner fear that I would hate dress shopping and that everything would
look terrible on me was a sad one for me to ring true.
Here are some highlights and tips from my adventures in
wedding dress shopping:
1. High
Expectations: Early in January, we went to an enormous bridal exposition, where I
excitedly took numerous blurry photos of one dress that I saw in the fashion show. To me, it was the perfect mixture of traditional and modern, and
it really spoke to me. For an entire
month, I eagerly awaited for my appointment at Store#1, convinced that my dress
shopping was over before it begun. When
I finally got there and tried on my “dream dress”, I was sadden to discover
that it: a) weighed about a 100lbs b) made me look like a white, fat, fluffy
bird c) was terribly uncomfortable d) was terribly expensive. Sigh.
2. Wear Nice
Underwear: ummmm no one freaking told me that the sales ladies dress you! And
sometimes ask you to take off your bra entirely! I know I’m not the picture of
modesty, but seriously! While this is something you get used to quickly, I’ll always fondly remember my first time where I shamefully stood, in front of a neat-looking
Italian woman that I just met, in nothing but my comfy bra (aka dirty and old) and
a g-string.
3. Happy
Hour for Perspective Brides: Being the lone wolf here in la belle province,
I did most of these shopping trips on my own.
To me, nothing was more annoying/awkward/horrible then stepping out
in a sample dress that was two sizes too small for me into a small room full of
another bride’s gushing mother, sister and friends. Store#3 & Store#5 was
this kind of experience…and it was HORRIFIC. At one point, I just refused to come out of the cabin, etiquette be damned. I would suggest avoiding bridal shopping at
what I like to call Happy Hour for Perspective Brides: Saturday and Sunday
mornings, as well as Thursday and Friday evenings. Trunk show? No thanks!
4. Practice
DOES make Perfect: I went in knowing nothing about wedding dresses and now
I know what words like rouching, dropped waist, bustle and crinoline mean. I
don’t know what lucky, skinny broad is able to try on one dress and fall in love
with it, but for me trying on so many really helped to eliminate the silhouettes
that I didn't like. Each store I went into, brought me one step closer to the one I would buy and I
was soon able to tell right away what would make me look like a sausage, a
cupcake, a hooker, etc without the effort of getting to second base with the
sales girl.
5. The MOST
HORRIBLE OF THEM ALL: Store #4 was really the pièce de résistance in
terms of horrifying wedding dress experiences.
Let me start by saying that this is a REALLY famous store where a
certain internationally-famed singer bought her wedding dress. I went there
with high expectations to discover that it was “a what we have is what you’ll
need to fit into” kind of store. OK that’s fine; there were a few dresses that I fit into and that I liked enough.
Then I found out about the NO PHOTOS rule here. Difficult, but livable. I
finally put on this Spanish style, dropped waist dress that thanks to the
miracle of a corset I was able to fit into, that I kind of liked. Mind you, my
inability to sit, breath or smile in it told me that despite the corset, (and
maybe also because of it!), it was probably at least one size too small. The
sale girl then tells me, we can make it larger, but you should just lose about
15 lbs, preferably in the middle. Ouch. Why tell me something I don’t know, mean,
blunt Italian woman!!
And you know what? Even this I could handle. I’m
Asian— brutal honestly is like my people’s mantra. What I couldn't handle was when I was leaving, and after booking another appointment so I could show Jess in April, she
secretly whispered to me: “I can help you lose the weight, I sell XXX on the
side. I've already helped two other brides lose 15-20lbs”. After which, she
handed me a card to a website that sells chemical-filled
protein shakes, weight loss bars, and meal supplements with names that had way too many Xs in it to be legit. Yeah, thanks, but no
thanks. To top it off, I came to work to
share my story with my friend who went there with her daughter. This woman
told her daughter to get her breast size reduced because she was too heavy-chested
to find a dress that would be appropriate! There are no words.
The entire experience was not all that bad. I met a really sweet,
genuinely sincere bridal consultant at Store#3, who I’m still emailing and chatting with! And if you’re like me and hate the gym,
well, there’s nothing quite like standing half-naked in front of a skinny Italian woman (I don’t know why, but
each one of my bridal consultants were Italian) and have her judge you with her eyes. Yes, if
you want the fear of God to strike your heart and send you to the gym my
friends, go try on a few wedding dresses.
And of course, there was Store#6, which is called J’adore
Boutique in the West Island of Montreal—figures that I would find my dress amongst
Anglos. The experience was awesome. There was no pressure, the sales girl left
the dress ready for me to slip into and had me call her once I was in to tie me
up. She was knowledgeable, pulled the exact dresses that I wanted, listened to
me and didn't try to sell me any weight loss remedies. I tried on my dress and right away I felt
beautiful, thin, comfortable and most importantly, like me.
If I were the type to cry over a dress I would have, but
instead I handed her my VISA and told her to ring it up. It’s funny, how one little dress changes your
perspective. Before I said yes to the
dress, I was completely going through the motions of wedding planning, but now
I’m genuinely EXCITED! I can’t wait to show Sebastien and all of you my
beautiful dress! Maybe this is the trigger that spins me into a bossy
Bridezilla, but all of a sudden, I find myself day-dreaming about the big day
and how I want it to be absolutely perfect.
That’s all for now, my friends!
Xx
Levan.
